Unacceptable Love
by Gamerstud
Summary: No one can accept a love that is different... Sorry everyone, this is a dead fic. I might have something new eventually though I doubt anyone is still paying attention to this story. GS 2.6.2007
1. The First Meeting

_Well this is something I had been planning on submitting to the iRO fanfic contest, however after 1000+ words I knew there was no way I was going to finish this under the 1500 limit. So I figured I'd forget the fanfic contest and just make this as big as I wanted to. The main character is my iRO Crusader Drear on Loki._

At times like this I can only wonder what most people actually think love is. Most people will tell you that love is something shared between two people; something both great and beautiful that can connect two people on the deepest of levels. Though I can tell you anyone that says that is a hypocrite. What people consider love is actually much more close-minded; and anything that isn't the same as their definition of love, is not considered love at all. It's considered to be wrong, or an abomination.

I know this as I've had to deal with it first-hand. The feelings of love don't matter. The deep spiritual connection means nothing. Because a love that is different is a love that no one can accept. Because of the love I shared with another, I have been mocked, ridiculed, and treated as though I was some raving lunatic. What did I do to deserve such a harsh response?

I loved someone that was different…

As I remember back to everything that happened, I remember every detail of it with such crystal quality; every second of every minute. It began in the capital city of Prontera. It was past midnight and I had just been doing what I had done countless times before. Browsing around through some of the overnight merchant shops stocking up on supplies I'd need for my departure to Orc Dungeon the following morning. I was just enjoying the night air while talking to anyone who was still around at such a late hour. I had just been walking the streets when I first saw her…an injured woman wearing a heavy cloak.

Her cloak was large enough to conceal all of her body, and with the large hood over her head, it was nearly impossible to tell who she was. After a few moments I could see the outline of what must have been an extremely menacing whip through her cloak. Logically I just figured she must have been a Dancer returning to Prontera to have her injuries healed and to stock up on supplies. Despite the appearance of just a person coming back to restock supplies; something seemed incredibly unusual. I can't explain the feelings I had toward this woman…my eyes were drawn to her. In my mind I had told myself I was just admiring her cloak and wondering where she had purchased such a garment. But in all honesty, I couldn't have turned my gaze away even if I had wanted to. I lost total track of everything I had been doing, I don't even know how long it was that I stood admiring her.

Only when she had finally walked out of sight did I finally come back to reality and realize an alarming amount of time had passed. The streets were now nearly empty and only a handful of merchants still had their shops open in the street. It took me a few moments to get my train of thought back to what was important. I'd considered perhaps getting a room at the inn for the night. I am not one that's big on sleep however, so I thought why put off till tomorrow what I can do tonight. I had all the supplies I'd need and was in no mood for sleep; so I figured no reason I shouldn't go adventuring to Orc Dungeon right then and there.

I didn't get very far before I saw her, that same Dancer. She was sitting underneath a tree, not looking very thrilled with her current situation. I had began to think perhaps she had no zenny; I couldn't recall her actually buying anything as she browsed through the shops as I had watched her earlier. Surely she would have rented a room at the Inn if she had zenny. Everyone knows Dancers don't wear the…warmest of clothing. I'm not normally one to hand out free items to any pretty girl I see like I've known some men to be. But I had seen this person injured and unable to even buy potions to heal herself. Being a Crusader I believe very firmly in the helping of others; so of course I didn't even think twice before I walked up to her.

I pulled a White Potion from my supplies and held it out to her, "Miss? I noticed you seemed to be injured when you had first arrived earlier this evening. Perhaps I can offer this to you? It's not much, but I'd hope you can use it to feel better?" Agh…I'd felt like an idiot, I tried not to falter with my voice as I spoke to this woman and all I'd done was ramble on. In the middle of my own self feeling of stupidity she had looked up at me and for the first time I could see part of her face. In almost a flash the White Potion was flung out of my hand and had shattered against a nearby tree.

I tried to recover from the initial shock of what she'd done…I'd also tried not to stare at her. Even though I only saw her for a brief moment; there was something…unexplainable about her. After regaining my composure I took another White Potion from my supplies. "Miss…I didn't pay nearly a thousand zenny for that White Potion to have something to water the grass with. Please take this from me?" I was having a difficult time trying not to falter with my words as I spoke to her.

She looked up at me again and speaking for the first time, "There is no reason for you to offer me a Potion…Just go and leave me alone." It was difficult to not be discouraged; thinking back to it now the polite thing for me to do would probably to have been to back off and leave her alone. But…I just couldn't; there was something about this woman. Something I am still unable to put into words.

Trying with all my concentration to keep my voice steady; I simply said, "There is more than enough reason for me to offer you this potion. There is a great deal of trouble in this world. We all need to stick together and we all need to look out for one another." Oh how my hopes rose up when she took the potion from my hand.

I stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do next. As badly as I had wanted to stay here and speak with her; I just couldn't work up the courage. She obviously wanted to be left alone and it wasn't my place to stay there. Just as I had taken my first step back, she said something to me that at the time was the most confusing thing I'd ever heard. She looked up to me, half of her face still hidden by the cloak and said in a perfectly calm voice, "_I_ am the trouble in this world."

_I'll have chapter2 posted by tomorrow night. It's going to contain quite a bit more action and will up the excitement. Any reviews? I'm happy to hear whatever you have to say, good or bad._


	2. So Tired

_Yep, this chapter may just be a tiny bit late. Had a bunch of stuff that got in the way and well we all know how life can be weird at times. I tried to put in more excitement in this chapter._

I looked at her for a moment; totally unsure of what to do or say. To hear her say something so bizarre; I had no idea what to do now. Trying not to sound overly concerned, I couldn't stop myself from asking her, "Is there something bothering you? Perhaps something I can help you with?" She only sat and drank the white potion. All that could be heard was silence…a very awkward silence.

I had looked away only for a moment as I thought I'd heard someone passing by. When I looked back to the dancer, she was gone. In that split-second, that moment in which my mind jumps to the realization that she wasn't where I had last saw her, I suddenly felt myself being choked of air. In the short moment of confusion she had swept around to my other side and had a strangle-hold on my neck. Shocked as I was, I couldn't move; even more shocking was when she lifted me into the air. I couldn't move; maybe because of the shock of what had just happened, or maybe something else. Either way, all I could do was stare at her as my feet dangled more than a foot off of the ground.

She spoke to me then, in a voice so cold it sent a chill down my back, "What is it that you want from me? Why the hell are you so intent on bothering me? I don't want any more of your potions. Nor do I ever want to hear the sound of your voice again. I swear to whichever God you worship, if you keep pushing me, I will make you regret it!" Then with seemingly no effort, she flung me over her back. At that point everything was a blur, I'm not sure how far she threw me, I just remember hitting the ground hard. The scrape of my armor against the concrete made the most horrible noise, that and trying to catch my breath; the whole situation just seemed unreal. I just laid there for several moments; totally bewildered with all my thoughts in chaos. She simply sat back down underneath the same tree as before, as though nothing had just happened.

Eventually I managed to pick myself up, as painful as just that was. I looked at her, though I didn't dare say a word. Trying to make as little noise as possible, I slowly managed to walk away. Unfortunately for me, even walking was more difficult than it should have been. I'd landed on my leg and more than likely strained quite a few muscles. I couldn't walk without limping; pain shooting through my leg with each step.

I didn't even dare look back at her as I was walking away. After limping my way back to the main road, I looked to the southern exit of Prontera. My will for Orc Dungeon had disappeared; no way was I going to make the effort to get there now. I was just so tired…so sleepy. I decided it'd be best to stay at the inn for the night and make a go at Orc Dungeon tomorrow. I don't even remember feeling disappointed; I just remembered wanting to fall into that bed and just rest.

I have almost no recollection of my walk to the inn. It almost felt as though I was in a daze. I just wanted to hit that bed, to rest my muscles. To just let it all go and relax. I'd felt as though I'd gone days without sleep, though in reality I'd slept quite comfortably just the night before. Though that didn't seem to matter anymore, I just wanted a warm bed to sleep in.

I remember bursting in through the door at the inn, throwing a few thousand zenny onto the inn-keepers desk and asking for the key to my room. Totally beyond me how I managed to make it up the stairs without slipping. Once I'd finally reached my room, I barely took the time to lock the door behind me before allowing my armor to drop to the floor. Usually I took extreme care with all my equipment, but at the moment, I just really couldn't care all that much.

After having laid my sword at the foot of the bed, I finally allowed myself to collapse onto the bed; I finally just let my body relax. How could I have gotten so tired? How did I get so fatigued in such a short time? Maybe that Dancer had thrown me even harder than I thought. Maybe I really was hurt; oh, who could care. That bed…was so warm, just so comfortable. My last thoughts before I drifted off to sleep were of that woman's face. After I'd gotten past the shock of what had happened, I remembered something, when that Dancer had thrown me; I could see her face. That headgear she wore, so strange. A mask that only covered half her face; it had seemed so somber, so mournful. The horns attached to it just added to the overall depressing look of that headgear.

It wasn't long before my thoughts began to trail off and sleep overtook me. I don't remember my dreams at all. I recall that I woke up a few times throughout the night. Occasionally the pain in my leg would waken me so I had to change positions while I slept. I remember waking up in the morning, to the sun shining in through the cracks of the window-shutter. I still felt so tired though, I just slept. Each time I awoke I couldn't find the strength to bother getting up. So I only shut my eyes again and went back to sleep.

I lost all sense of time; I couldn't really care about it either. I was far too tired to care about the time or how long I'd been sleeping. I just wanted peace. Eventually the inn-keeper came knocking at the door asking if I'd like to pay for another night. I didn't even bother opening my eyes, I just yelled to him that I would pay him for the extra night when I departed and he agreed.

I awoke again, I knew it was well into the night but I had no sense of how late it actually was. I had opened my eyes only for a moment to look outside…the window-shutters were open. I stared at the window for a few moments before the realization of what happened sunk in.

The shutters were open…but they had been closed when I'd first fallen asleep. There was no one that had come into this room since then, and I was certain I hadn't gotten up and opened them. Suddenly the potential seriousness of the situation had been realized in my head.

I sat up in the bed quickly and took a look around the room. I saw my armor, so neatly organized on the floor beside the bed. My sword was leaning up against the wall so neatly. In a panic I made a grab my sword, totally unsure of who could have done this…but then I heard her voice.

In such a soft voice, she said to me from the shadows of the room, "Why such a panic Drear? It's only me. I'm sorry, I didn't really mean to startle you. I just didn't want to wake you as I came in last night. You looked so peaceful sleeping there." Ugh, I was so confused, what on Earth was happening here? Gripping my sword even tighter, in a voice that was almost a yell, "Who are you? What are you doing here and what do you want?"

In such a calm voice she replied to me, "Nothing Drear…I've just been watching your dreams. You're different from the rest, aren't you?"

_My hope is to have chapter3 uploaded by Valentines Day night, but as it takes a while for the site to update, it may not be available to view until the day after._


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